Is the distance between you and your child growing wider and wider apart?

You are not alone! The majority of children will distance themselves from their parents the older they get. It’s normal. But it breaks your heart as a parent. There must be a way to keep those family ties closer so that you’ll keep that special family bond for life.

Great news! There is a simple and incredibly fun way to keep that family bond tight through setting family goals!

How to Goal Setting for Families:

Aa new year is upon us and it’s time to set some goals. Try including your child or teen in the goal setting. You’ll not only be setting an amazing role model for your child to follow but you’ll be bridging the ever expanding gap that may have already begun.

And it’s really fun to do too!

Set some time aside and sit down with your child. Go over the goals together that you all have for the coming year. This is should be a fun activity, no pressure, no judgment. To bridge the gap, you need to be open minded and encouraging.

Tools  you’ll need to have:

• plain paper to write on
• construction paper
• old magazines or a computer, printer and paper to print off photos from the internet
• pen, markers, crayons, pencil crayons
• pair of scissors
• tape or glue
• a cork pushpin board and pushpins

Here’s what to do:

1. Sit down with your family to do this activity together.
2. Have each family member write down 3 goals they would like to accomplish this coming year. Everyone must support the other with their goal, as long as their goals are within the family moral guidelines. (Let small children simply draw out their ideas.)
3. Then also take a moment to come up with 2 family goals to accomplish this year.
4. Attach each family member’s written goals to the cork board.
5. Add photos from magazines or computer print-offs that capture the feeling of each goal and attach these to corkboard next to each goal.
6. Check off goals as they are accomplished.
7. Celebrate each accomplished goal!

Sharing goals with your family will give each member a sense of accountability as well as give them a sense being supported in their goals.

Increase the bond between you and your child through the power of goal setting.

MAKE IT FUN!

Cheers…Amanda…Excited Life Enthusiast! ;o)

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Special Note and GIFT: I believe in teaching our kids and teens as early as possible about money so they won’t have to rely on mom and dad to take care of them financially once they leave the nest. Click here to grab 7 Fun FREE Tools to Start Your Child’s Financial Education Today!

We have also recently published our book in Kindle format and we have the opportunity to offer our book for Free for a couple of days.

So, for 2 days only, January 25 and January 26, the Kindle version of book is available for Free. After the 26th you will have to pay again.

Even if you don’t have a Kindle reader, you can still read it, just look for the Free Kindle Reading Apps on the right hand side of the page where you download the book.

You can get the book for yourself or you can give it to someone else you know who might have recently lost their pet.

We would really appreciate you leaving a review about the book on Amazon as well.

This book was the idea of our kids and it has turned into a great learning process for them.

They are learning the principles of a business. We had to invest money to publish the book and buy a few copies to sell at the local book store. Now that we have the book published and it is available on Amazon and in the local book store, we earn money each time a book is sold. This money is not all profit because we first have to pay off the investment we made.

As mentioned above, we also have “Remembering Candy” in our local bookstore and we donate $2 of every book sold there to our local animal shelter. We got our dog from an animal shelter as well and we think she was the greatest dog ever, as you will find out when you read the book.

So, it is not just a great achievement to have a book published and actually selling, it is also a great tool we use for Financial education. Our kids have learned about investing, return on investment, giving back to the community and passive income.

Here is the link to “Remembering Candy” again and remember it is only available for Free on January 25th and 26th!

Cheers…Amanda van der Gulik…Excited Life Enthusiast!

A friend of ours created this cool video for us and I thought I would share it with you.
Have a great Holiday season!

Thank you Paul Knaap for creating this for us!

Cheers…Amanda & Rob van der Gulik…Excited Life Enthusiasts!

Any time that you communicate to your child you can convey the message in a positive or a negative way.

Guess which way is more likely to gain your child’s cooperation, bring them closer to you and increase their self-esteem?

The positive way, of course. Yet, too often parents draw attention to negative behaviors while positive steps go unnoticed.

Let’s look at three changes you can make.

1. Use positive communication.

Instead of the negative: “Haven’t you gotten your toys picked up yet? I can’t believe that you’re so slow! I asked you 10 minutes ago to clean up!”

Communicate the positive: “I see that you got the Legos cleaned up. Good job! I’ll set the timer for 5 minutes and let’s see if you can get the rest of the toys cleaned up!”

2. Use rewards rather than punishments.

Instead of the negative: “No books tonight! I had to keep bugging you to get ready for bed.”

Communicate the positive: “If you brush your teeth and put PJs on without me asking tonight, you’ll get an extra book.”

3. Give positive attention for positive actions.

Instead of the negative: “If you can’t share, I’m taking this toy away.”

Communicate the positive: “You’re doing an awesome job sharing with your brother right now! High five!”

The motto we should incorporate into our parenting is this: “Catch them being good!”

I’m going to challenge you in the next year to find three times a day when you can acknowledge a positive behavior of your child’s, rather than a negative one. That would be 1,000 more positive statements your child would here each year.

Imagine the impact!

For more great strategies on becoming the best parent you can be check out “The Ultimate Parenting Toolkit: Solutions to Your Top 10 Parenting Problems” at: http://clickheretogetmore.info/about/the-ultimate-parenting-toolbox.

Article written by Toni Schutta, Parent Coach and Licensed Psychologist.

Your child wants ice cream at bedtime. You say “No” but your child persists, whining and bugging you until you finally give in to stop the incessant whining.

Your child doesn’t pick up her toys when asked. You end up picking the toys up for your child.

You tell your child that he’s grounded for a week. Do you stick to your guns or cave under the pressure?

Why is it so hard to be consistent in discipline?

There are obvious answers. You’re tired. You take the path of least resistance. The kids wear you down. But to really get to the bottom of this, you have to dig deeper. In order to make real, significant changes, you have to examine what holds you back in following through with reasonable discipline options.

Let’s start with the words “reasonable discipline.” Did you really want to ground your child for a whole week or did you just say that out of anger? If your child did something really awful you may want to ground them for a week, but if you said it out of anger, you need to give yourself a break before you discipline your child so you don’t deal out a punishment that you won’t follow through on because it’s too harsh. Choose your words (and punishments) carefully.

Guilt. This is a big one. The majority of parents work outside the home now. Do you feel guilty when your child is in the care of others for six or eight or ten hours a day? Most parents do. Guilt can drive you to resist disciplining your child because you don’t want to play the “heavy” if you only have three or four hours a day together. You’d rather have “fun” time.

My child won’t like me. Your child won’t like the action that you took. That part is true. Who likes to be punished? But you have a long, deep and endearing relationship with your child with thousands of investments you’ve made in caring for them. Stephen Covey calls this “an emotional bank account.” If you have enough goodwill stored up in the back account, occasional punishments will not empty the bank account permanently. Your child will still love you, but they will pout and stomp and be unhappy about the punishment. Try to separate the action that you’re taking from the personal attribution.

My child needs me. This one is tough. If your child is begging for one more bedtime story you believe your child NEEDS you and you want to fulfill that need. Isn’t that your job as a parent? Try to examine where your child’s need is coming from and your own need to be needed. Are there other times of day when you can connect in meaningful ways with your child? It’s also your job to ensure that your child gets adequate sleep.  Weigh which need is more important to meet at that time.

It will hurt my child’s feelings. The truth is that sometimes your child’s feelings will be hurt. If you don’t let your child go to the movie with a friend because his book report isn’t done, whose fault was it? Your child procrastinated for two days. He had ample time to complete it earlier but chose to play video games instead. You outlined the consequences, but your child chose to ignore them.  Should your child learn from his mistakes or should you prevent him from feeling the “pain” of actions he took?

The consequences of being inconsistent in your discipline are actually quite grave. Your child will learn that s/he cannot trust you. Your child will lose respect for you. Your child will not develop a set of boundaries that delineate between parent and child, authority figure/child. Your child will not have a firm, reliable structure to count on. Your child will feel insecure.

Your child will have a false set of empowerment. She will feel in charge, when she really needs you to be the one in charge. The child will learn that you hold them to a lower standard and in fact, that you believe they are incapable of meeting the standard that you set. They will learn that they don’t have to meet standards because standards are negotiable. They will ultimately lose respect for themselves because they are learning that they are not responsible for their own behavior.

So the next time you feel like letting the consequence go, think of all the harm that can come to your child when you are inconsistent.

Then, remind yourself of all the benefits that can come from using positive discipline methods, consistently applied: Your child will feel more secure. Life will be more predictable for your child. Some crises will be avoided. Your child will learn to do things for himself. Your child will learn appropriate boundaries. Your child will learn self-care. Your child will learn that you are trustworthy, reliable and responsible. The firm structure that you build will enhance your child’s self-esteem. Nasty behaviors will subside because there are consequences.

Next time you feel like being a “discipline wimp” stop yourself. Instead, keep your eye on the prize: raising responsible, confident and capable young adults, and you’ll be more likely to set, and keep firm limits.

For more great strategies on becoming the best parent you can be check out “The Ultimate Parenting Toolkit: Solutions to Your Top 10 Parenting Problems” at: http://clickheretogetmore.info/about/the-ultimate-parenting-toolbox. Article written by Toni Schutta, Parent Coach and Licensed Psychologist.